Games for boys and girls: do you have to separate

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Over the generations, we’ve developed an attitude: usually girls love dolls, and boys love cars. It seems to us that there are primordially “girlish” and “boyish” games: for women – dolls and dishes, for boys – cars and pistols. But reality doesn’t always follow this rule: many parents are faced with things that the tastes of their children don’t coincide with the norms adopted by some unknown person. for instance , your son enjoys twiddling with dolls or “cooking” during a toy kitchen; or daughters – to play with vehicles or “wars”. Is it okay? do you have to accustom your baby to the “right” toys or give him the chance to settle on toys on his own? – Let’s figure it out.


Can a woman be forbidden to play cars, and a boy to play dolls?


The already mentioned attitude about the gender division of toys has been happening since past , when gender discrimination and strict patriarchy reigned within the world: a person is that the breadwinner and head of the family, a lady is that the keeper of the fireside , sitting reception and raising children. No alternatives, no allowances.


One can argue for an extended time about how fair or unjust such ideas are. However, the reality is that within the times they’re a minimum of outdated: women are involved in science, sports and politics for several generations, men are creating designs, sewing clothes and preparing food professionally. So today, dividing toys (that is, activities) into boys and girls is as unfair as dividing professions into male and feminine .


It must be remembered that a game for a toddler is, first of all, a mechanism for going to know the surface world, how to know how and consistent with what rules this very world works. the child studies the objects he meets, tries on various roles, imitates the behavior of his parents (and adults in general). Limiting his ways of communicating with the surface world is a minimum of impractical, and asking the question “what toys do boys play?” during a visit to a toy store – even more so.


If your son’s attention is captured by a doll, it just means at the instant he’s curious about studying human anatomy, fitting a social role (parent, older brother). And if your daughter has been fascinated by a toy tractor or radio-controlled car for an extended time, then maybe she is simply acquiring the fundamentals of engineering thinking, trying to work out how this complex mechanism works.


Professional psychologists and educators all together recommend that oldsters not impose the “right” toys on their children. It rarely ends positively, usually on the contrary – the baby just starts to urge nervous and irritated. Let him independently choose those toys that are captivating him immediately and evoke positive emotions.


By themselves, toys don’t develop the qualities of femininity-masculinity. Femininity and masculinity are acquired by a toddler through imitation of close people and therefore the appropriation of these gender social roles that society offers them. “You are a woman , you’re sort of a mother. Girls wear beautiful dresses, they like to dress up and play with dolls, ”the adults tell the kid . Of course, a standard child will psychologically identify with a parent of an equivalent gender: a woman – to imitate her mother, a boy – to dad. But in lifestyle , the roles are mixed. Mom drives a car and drives a nail. Dad changes the baby’s diaper, prepares dinner and washes the dishes. Why shouldn’t his son, who naturally imitates his father, repeat an equivalent actions within the game?


Why is it useful for boys to play with dolls?


What toys are boys interested in? Despite the very fact that we (somehow even instinctively) consider dolls to be exclusively girly toys, actually they’re interesting to children of both sexes – especially at the age of two or three years. Boys with genuine enthusiasm feed them, dress them, put them to bed and carry them during a stroller. Is it worth worrying about this? – in fact not.

Among psychologists, the version is accepted that the most reason for boys’ interest in dolls is that the desire to urge the primary communication skills, to know the character of relationships between people. Yes, familiar boy toys like construction sets and puzzles develop logic and engineering thinking well, but emotional development is an equally important aspect of personality development. Empathy, trust, the power to speak with others are the foremost important skills for preschool age, which play with dolls helps to develop.

A doll may be a quite simulator that permits you to securely practice the fundamentals of communication. Presenting the doll as a living person, the baby not only develops imagination, but also learns to coexist with people . for instance , a toddler can act out various situations, communicate and “make-believe” build relationships. The doll gives you the chance to point out your care, participation and empathy.

don’t forget that your son is, first of all, a person’s being. Mastering and understanding human relations will help him within the future to adapt more easily in society, to simply understand people , their desires and motives. additionally , the doll teaches the kid to require care of the younger and therefore the weak, gives a basic knowledge of human anatomy, and helps to find out the names of clothing items.

As a rule, the height of interest in dolls among boys falls on the age of two or three years and gradually fades away by four. At this age, the baby begins to have an interest in additional complex toys – cars, construction sets and various board puzzles.


The girl likes to play boy games, is it worth worrying?


The story is analogous to dolls: it somehow happened historically that cars and pistols are considered to be boys’ toys, but when asked “what toys do girls play?” the solution immediately comes “dolls and plastic dishes.” But here, too, you ought to not succumb to stereotypes and impose something on the kid it’s better to seek out advantages in his hobby and check out to seek out benefits in them.

First of all, let’s admit the fact: boys have much brighter, more varied and more interesting toys: they’re colorful, make sounds, and are dismantled for parts. far more attractive to an equivalent sort of “Barbie” and pink houses for them. Races, shootouts, outdoor games – that’s where the important fun is!

We want to think that girls are an example of calmness and angelic peace, but don’t forget that children are children – all of them have tons of energy that must be put somewhere, and boy games (active and noisy) are an excellent option for this. Let the dress be stained, let the knees be broken – sincere emotions and genuine happiness within the eyes are far more important.

Well, if the utilization of constructors and typewriters is even more obvious: this is often a rather simple and productive thanks to develop reasoning and study the planet around us – not only transport, but also complex mechanisms in theory . Now that gender stereotypes have begun to recede into the past, toy manufacturers have even begun to supply cars for women in calmer colors and shapes. So today is that the answer to the question “What toys do girls like?” doesn’t seem so obvious anymore.

If a woman plays with a toy car, it means this is often a toy for the girl. If a boy is twiddling with a doll, then this is often a toy for the boy. What should parents do? Show interest within the content of the sport , play together. But don’t shame in any way! Perhaps a woman with an excellent love of technology within the future will open her own car dealership, and a boy with a humanitarian orientation will become an impressive teacher or doctor.

As a conclusion: all psychologists of the planet are unanimous within the opinion: don’t traumatize the child’s psyche, don’t prohibit playing what the kid wants and don’t hang your complexes and fears on the kid . you ought to not separate games for boys and girls, – be democratic and calm: let the child use all possible ways of knowing the planet around him – this may only allow him to get older as a full-fledged, harmonious and comprehensively developed personality!

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